lost

more than 2 years passed since the last time i owned a thing called love. long story cut short; had a broken relationship with a jerk. cupid stop visiting me after that. a friend said, cupid still wanna come, but i'm the one who hushed the cupid away.

guess that's kinda true.. but i think he did left an arrow...

i had never made any first move on anyone; have a very low self esteem when it comes to this love thingy. afraid of being rejected. till last nite, good that he feel the same way.. BUT time does not (and no, it's not about marriage). he still have a long way to go with his career, but so do i. told him to stop calling me if he thinks it won't work between us, before i fall deeper into him. got pissed off, told me i'm not being fair to him. all that he needs is time.

should i wait for him? if i should, for how long? and if i do wait, can he be sure enuff that we'll end up together?

yes, i'm not being fair to him. we've been dancing around each other since school days. but i'm not willing to repeat a broken relationship all over again. once is enuff. damn! why did when i'm ready to reopen my self it's the arrow with yer name on it that has been left by cupid?