and i wonder..

It took me for a while before i realize that i was in Aida's bed this morning. I didn't went home last nite. At this point, my life sucks! big time!!

And i wonder does this thing happen to everybody?

I love my family, I do. Who doesn't? 15 years ago dad remarried, and everything was never the same. Dad still doing his best for the family (though sometimes, questions wether does he or not arise), Mum still hold the grudge (and i understand why), Bro was full of rage at the beginning and loosen up several years after that, and me, it was never a good subject to talk or think about. NEVER! I never understand why a man, whom uttered the akad, and made promise not to waste a woman's life, on the wedding day, - remarried after some years. Why does, or is there a need for another woman to come into one's life, when you claim that you love that person that is already a wife to you?

But as the years goes by, i learnt, understood, and accept the reasons why. For a thing to happen, there must be a reason behind it. And for every single thing that happened, there will be consequences follows, good and bad. As for my family, things was never as it was before. We actually talked less to dad, to name one of the consequences. Both got into fights over small things, and some over insignificant matters. Oh well, as a friend told me once, there are things that is insignificant to one, but a huge thing to others... hmm..

So, there i was yesterday. Crying myself out loud, ALONE in the house thinking how miserable my family is. Thinking why we can't just be like a normal joe family. Outing on weekends, meeting from time to time, enjoying the same tv shows, and what not. It took me a few hours before i decide to take on Aida, Noreen & Niza's advices to just get my butt off the house, it might lessen my misery, so they told me. And so i did.

Zuraimi dearest took me out for kayaking in Putrajaya that afternoon. He didn't say a word about me having emotional meltdown on my family matters. And it made me start to wonder whether he really care, is he just playing dumb, or whether it is just his ignorance.. The kayak session really helps anyway. Out on the water i forgot my misery. We really had fun, eventhough i wet my jeans, my only jeans that i have with me, which also i planned to wear to work today..! But, it was fun!

Later that evening before i said goodbye to him, he sat with me. And only then he started to talk to me about my misery. I just kept quite and listen (and pouring.. tiskk.. tiskk..). He said, do not feel bad about what happened to me. Take everything positively, lets learnt from it. For everything that happened in our life, it'll just make us stronger and more mature. Besides, if that thing happened to me, what makes me think that it won't happened to others? And others may be worse.. And before i have the chance to ask, he told me that it wasn't his attention to ignore me and the misery. Just that it is no use to talk then, when my mind is still clouded with gloom. I just can't absorb anything. I guess he did picked the best time!

Driving back to Aida'a made me think; and i got the answer to my wonders..

Yes, i am actually lucky! It's not everyday trouble come lurking in paradise. Compare to others, i am way over OK. When it rains, I still have my friends to share their umbrella. And the most, Allah sent him to me...! ;p

...and i whispered my thanks to HIM S.W.T silently...