merepek lagi...

~ People say your world is full of colors when u’re happy ~

Esok hari merdeka. Malaysia merdeka, dah 48 tahun kita merdeka. Tapi merdekakah kita.. chewahh!!

I pop the question back to me; I also don’t have the answer. Between daily life, works, kacchingg problems, never have enuff time to do stuff I like, hmm.. tak merdeka la tu kot kira.

Since 5pm yesterday waiting for the final copy of scoping report from ITD for review before sign off. Till now, takde gak.. Boss keeps calling, asking me to chase those guys. Sat lagilah, kalau call byk kali, nanti kena carut sedey lak.. tak merdeka tul lah..

The office secretary just handed me my pay slip. Tear open, smile.. good.. claim bulan July dah masuk! Syukur al-hamdulillah.. baru berangan nak beli jeans baru, then teringat all those bills I need to pay. Daanngg!! Tak merdeka tul lah..

Yet, my world is still full of colors.

Pagi td masa nak amik tiket kat tol Rawang, I smiled to the toll girl, and say thanks, as always. But she just looked at me with those “apahalminahni,gilakehapa” face.

Lately, I always find myself smiling for no reason, especially while driving. Kadang, sendiri pun tak sedar tgh senyum sorang2 mcm kambing, sekali pandang kete sebelah, diorang pun buat muka sama ngan minah tol tu..!! I myself had wonder why… sebab Mawi’s record is playing on the radio kot..?! ahahhahh.. yeah, rite..!

Kacchinngg mmg kurang, buy new jeans almost impossible. Job is sucks, have not enuff time to do things I like, and I can list thousand of stuff to go on about. But then troubles won’t go if you don’t hush them away. I’ll find a way around all that. Allah will not help those who don’t want to help themselves rite? Barulah boley merdeka.. barulah World!!

lost

more than 2 years passed since the last time i owned a thing called love. long story cut short; had a broken relationship with a jerk. cupid stop visiting me after that. a friend said, cupid still wanna come, but i'm the one who hushed the cupid away.

guess that's kinda true.. but i think he did left an arrow...

i had never made any first move on anyone; have a very low self esteem when it comes to this love thingy. afraid of being rejected. till last nite, good that he feel the same way.. BUT time does not (and no, it's not about marriage). he still have a long way to go with his career, but so do i. told him to stop calling me if he thinks it won't work between us, before i fall deeper into him. got pissed off, told me i'm not being fair to him. all that he needs is time.

should i wait for him? if i should, for how long? and if i do wait, can he be sure enuff that we'll end up together?

yes, i'm not being fair to him. we've been dancing around each other since school days. but i'm not willing to repeat a broken relationship all over again. once is enuff. damn! why did when i'm ready to reopen my self it's the arrow with yer name on it that has been left by cupid?

gol ungu gincu violet

Boss gua outstation whole next week! Yahoo to that! Means a week without torture & stress. Huwahhahahah!!! Before he go out to Cyberjaya just, dah mcm2 kata pesan dia tinggalkan.. do this, do that while I’m gone. Do not go missing, I’ll check on you from time to time… ye lah tu... macamla gua takut..

All around ppl are talking about these 2 movies; Ungu Violet n Gol & Gincu. Been able to catched UV last week with Kelly; simple yet appealing. One thing why I had always adore Indo movies is the simplicity of it. It was as if watching real life instead of man made story. No need for huge bungalows, posh cars, everybody has to be somebody, only cute boys will get cute girls thingy. We rarely find that in Malaysian movies, except Sepet from Yasmin, and several (but very lil’ in number) movies by indie film makers. And it had always make me wonder why the fuss on Sepet winning the award during last FFM!? Pelik...

Hmm.. Gol & Gincu; Kelly did ask me catch that movie after UV, and I leered! First impression on G&G is > “alah, ni mesti typical Malay romance teen flick, ko suka aku, aku suka ko, aku cantik, ko hensem, bla..bla..bla..”. Later that nite a friend told me that the movie is good. Early this week, lagi ramai org cakap citer ni best..! Then I read other ppl’s blog, still talking bout how good this movie is! And today, I read Afdlin Shauki’s blog, dia pun cakap citer ni best!! Alamak.. ni kena pegi tengok nih! So, booked 2 tickets tonite, going to check it out with Noreen. Oh yeah, Popo told me that Nic Saputra are suppose to be the hero, but they can’t get him; danggg!! It made me wonder; will i have the same impression if they did get him to be the hero!?

Nasib baik bukan semua Malaysian macam gua, very sceptical on Malay movies. If not, lingkuplah Malaysia's movie industry. But who to blame, 7 out of 10 malay movies made is bad!! tiskk..tiskk.. tiskk..

s.o.r.r.y

when a friend hurts you, and apologize afterwards, what would you do? should u tell the friend that everything is ok, u're kewl with everything, lets move on. or is it just stay quiet, ignore the friend, (playing big headed card maybe..?).

a friend of mine told the other friend of mine (which i shared almost everything) that i hurt her feeling, by the way i talked to her. i asked myself back, did i? i asked another friend of mine, did i? is it wrong to tell a friend that she did wrong? was it not right to tell a friend what u n the others think of her? yes, i am a loud person. i normally says what i have in mind. i guess i'm too loud for some. but, after being friends for more than a decade, i thought she would understand me by now.

sorry, 5 letters word; simple yet hard to be blurted out.

but i did. let go my ego for the sake of friendship. admitted i'm wrong. and till today there's still nothing from her. to her, yes, we've been hurt by other people. yet, sometimes we also hurt other people. been hurt by you before, never took it to the bone though. friends hurt each other, it the healing process we share afterwards that counts.

haze prob

Air quality is sooo bad here in Klang Valley, Selangor and Negeri. Been hazy for a week. Heard from the news today that the govt will only declare curfew IF API (Air Pollution Index) reach 500 (whatever that means). News also told that the worst haze problem is in Port Klang, API400. If API400 is that bad, still wanna wait till API500 mehh..? Even now I feel like I breathe smoke not air! even my shirts smell like smoke!! hope i won't fall sick. at least not before this Friday!!

..*sigh*..

Damn those who caused all this!!

i'm so pissed off!!!

warghhhh!!! so piss off with my boss rite now! it's already 530pm n i'm still in the office -- he insisted to do the Requirement Matrix discussion today though it's already late. he's the one who came back to office late (4.30pm), and now he wants to trouble me!! it's not like i can claim OT!! oh yeah, and he's taking his ciggies break rite at this moment!! ggrrrr!!! urgghhh!! so sick with all the asskisser in the office too. sometimes i wonder how did someone that is so fucking don't know what he said & do can be an exceutive in a abig company like this.. warghh!! bengang tahap dewa!!!

:)

[smiling...]
Last nite I smiled myself to sleep. Receive a MMS, which was followed with a call which was followed with a SMS from an impish boy I know since schooldays. Lucky Aida was already asleep and the light has been turned off, else it must have been a big thing to laugh at between her, Noreen, err… & me today. Woke up, the smile was still there..
[smiling sheepishly..]

The phone rang again on my way to work. Promised to call him back later in the afternoon.
[yeah.. still smiling..]

Received a SMS at noon; reminder for the call back promise.
[At this point I just can’t wash off the smile from my face...]

Yepp.. and still smiling at the point of writin’ this entry!!

good books

Been a wee bit busy for the past few days with work and daily life errands. Watched Desperate Housewives over the weekend. I’ve been tryin’ to finish the season episodes since mid July. Yes, I know it is a damn good show, but I just can’t find the time. Up till today I have 4 good books to finish; a Lemony Snickett’s, a Dan Brown’s, a Kelley Armstrong’s, and the latest one, a J.K Rowling’s. [I also have 2 more books that I read halfway, and yawned. Damn! Gotta finish those too!]

I love reading good books. During my uni days there were never enuff books to read. Traveling by commuter & LRT from Rawang to UMKL everyday had gave more than enuff time to finish the books. MPH had always been the first (and longest) stop every time I went to Mid Valley, IF I went there without my ex. He hates it there. Kinda bored him maybe. ;p

These days, I find it real hard to steal time to spend on books; result of driving from home to work (Serendah – PJ) everyday. Keeping up with the miles, the traffic, (and not to mention those *&%$ drivers), I just can’t bear to stay up late just to read those books. Funny, those days when I have all the time in the world to read, I never had enuff money to buy books. The table turns now -- I kept buying books, but rarely have the time to read... *sigh*